I have a bunch of things i dont want to do on my list of stuff i "should" do. As well as stuff i would like to cross off my list but have to wait for more info/circumstance to unfold in order to do so.
Weird, because i only make the list to provide some activity structure in my day but then feel bad when i dont cross things off of it. They pile up like notifications but do i really need/want tp do any of these things?
I could prevent things from being added on there but I dont. When o have energy i add to the list. But when faced with doing the tasks, i need copious amounts of caffeine to begin to even want to.
Deep down inside i know there are nearly no consequences for not doing most of these things. Yet i forget i am playing a game with myself. Too bad I am not better and handling the stillness. I somehow enjoy this drama? lol sick. Weirdo.
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